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Truth in Constant Change for Now

by Donivan Berube

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    Includes Truth in Constant Change for Now on 160-gram Sonoran Marble copper & turquoise swirl colored vinyl, Endlessly Won't Last for Long on deluxe 180-gram clay colored vinyl, Order of the Arrow on 150-gram mint splattered green & white colored vinyl, and There Will Be No Sad Tomorrow on 150-gram purple vinyl. Download cards and photo inserts included.

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1.
Shouldn't have let myself get so close to you For a minute, I'll admit it, I get so goddamn blue Baby that's what good sex can do People are goddamn inconsistent Tonight you're fucking, by tomorrow night You're someone else's business Baby I'm in it Better than good sex I love to mind my own business We can fall in love at first sight We can fuck until we just fight We can give up when it feels right People are goddamn inconsistent They tell you what you want to hear And then forget you in a motherfucking instant Come over and kick it Better than good sex I love to mind my own business We can fall in love at first sight We can fuck until we just fight We can give up when it feels right I took a red eye flight So that I could watch the sun rise From halfway across the night I want to keep the color in your eyes I want to be the shiver in your thighs I want you to feel that happiness inside But I can't decide Guess I best just meet you on the other side I'll be waiting with a bottle of cheap red wine We can split it in the afterlife
2.
You and I decide If it's real or if it's imagined If the feeling's good Then we make it happen I don't believe in signs I believe in actions We were peaking at the same time Said she loved me but I guess it was the red wine I's hitching I was catching rides I must've lived a couple dozen lives No you don't have to apologize Everybody has a plan Up until it falls apart Everybody's gonna love you Just as long as you're playing your part You don't need a new beginning If you don't know where the hell to start Every moment is the future inside of your heart I'm wishing nothing but the best for you All the sunshine in the Southwest for you
3.
Offing 03:54
It's ok if you don't want to come People talk shit about everyone I just keep to myself All I need is some time To get my shit done Loving me must've felt like Falling asleep at the wheel I can't keep my head up 'Matter how bad it feels I can't drive far enough For the road to seem real It's ok to be done babe I just wasn't your one babe If you decide to go You don't even have to let me know I'll just figure it out The way I've figured it out Each way my goddamn life gets thrown But the sex felt just like We were peaking in the next life And I couldn't decide If I is or I was That shit happened because We decided it does No it wasn't no sign babe You're gonna be just fine babe
4.
I learned to love you once And I can learn to leave you too We learned to live together And we learned to hide the truth I love you more than ever But it's hard to see it through That boy may love you better Than your heart allows me to But we sure as damn well tried So hard, sometimes When I think about you now I just see the good parts I'm gonna keep them for a little while I learned to love you once And I can learn to leave you too I learned to hitch a ride In half the time I used to lose Waiting for the day to come When lovers learn to choose Whether not they want to stay Or if there's any use But we sure as damn well tried So hard, sometimes When I think about you now I just see the good parts I'm gonna keep them for a little while
5.
There was nothing I could say Some things will always stay the same People are changing every instant Can you put your phone down for a minute? I've been sitting right beside you In the next life I'll come find you
6.
There ain't a single moment back there that I miss Just one too many lives I was trying to live And a few too many women I've been trying to forget People make time or they don't That's the way it is She wanted me to stay the night There were feelings falling left and right She wanted me to stay the night And I was looking for a reason why People see what they want to see I used to have a father and a family The further that I ran away the easier it was for me The older that I got, the easier it was to leave Tomorrow is a mirror I've been holding out in front of me She wanted me to stay the night There were feelings falling left and right She wanted me to stay the night And I was looking for a reason why
7.
I'm coming around I'm getting off work right now She's talking crazy like she loves me or she's tweaking out In a sea of clouds The night was treading water till the moon it drowned We can talk it over we can fuck around We can fuck around I tell myself I am the only one I need around 'Cause I can be someone I want to keep around I can be someone I want to keep around I'm coming around You don't have to apologize I know I couldn't make all that shit right But I sure as damn well tried Even if I had to lie sometimes We're living alone inside our minds Most of the time I'm trying to outrun mine It's gonna take about as long as it needs to be Don't bother calling if that's all you have to say to me I can be alone as well as I can make believe We're living alone inside our minds Most of the time I'm trying to outrun mine I'm coming around Tell me what you think you're really living for She swallowed everything I had and still she wanted more She said she never came that way before Is that the reason why she asked me over for? What do you think I'm really living for?
8.
Fell asleep in the rain Woke up in the snow That's the way some summers on the plains go All the shit that got between us was between us In time I guess we chose to let the rest demean us Love became the walls in which to quarantine us What got between us? I'm always running out of something I can call my own If you're hurting all you have to do is let me know I can come around tomorrow if your work is slow Can't you think of anywhere at all you'd rather go? I wasn't reaching out for help Somehow I always end up stranded on an open road All I needed was a little bit of hope I'm always running out of something I can call my own If you're hurting all you have to do is let me know I can come around tomorrow if your work is slow Even if the sun is always going down People stay the same no matter if they're changing towns Call it common sense or call it all a runaround I live and let down, I live and let down I'm always running out of something I can call my own If you're hurting all you have to do is let me know I can come around tomorrow if your work is slow I'm wishing nothing but the best for you All the sunshine in the Southwest for you It's ok if we don't about it for a while We ran each other underground And then we played denial And no we're living with it mile after mile I'm always running out of something I can call my own If you're hurting all you have to do is let me know I can come around tomorrow if your work is slow Fell asleep in the rain Woke up in the snow You do the best you can until you don't The rest becomes the shit you chose That's the way some summers on the plains go I'm always running out of something I can call my own If you're hurting all you have to do is let me know I can come around tomorrow if your work is slow
9.
Waited all night for the sunrise When it finally came, I forgot why I thought we had something different But by the end it was the same old bullshit I'm wishing nothing but the best for you All the sunshine in the Southwest for you

about

As if the nights weren't long enough, Truth in Constant Change for Now weaves intimacy and isolation into a polyrhythmic heartsong of jazz chords and sudden redirection. Picture a warped Let It Bleed driven down a desert highway at 120 mph. In time you decide that life is less of a dance and more of a backwards free fall through a dark sky of strangers. Pits of turbulence come and go, night tremors and all, as do the fleeting momentia of celebratory peace amongst the clouds. The horizon is always on its way. You watch the sunrise from 30,000 feet and wish tomorrow wasn't already here.

Buried deep within the wailing horns, harmonies, and weeping guitars is but one constant refrain: you are a moment in time, you are a moment in time, we are a moment in time. People are changing every instant, with each day being no more than a hail mary pass to ourselves. This is the new reality, and it happens because we decide that it does. All else is imagination.

credits

released November 13, 2020

Written, produced, performed, and everything else by Donivan Berube.
Tyler Neidermayer played bass clarinet.
Ross Severson played some guitars.
Hannah Yeun sang some harmonies.
Recorded at home in Arizona.
Mastered by Carl Saff in Chicago, Illinois.
Photography by Julius Schlosenburg.
Illustration by Austin Ansbro.
Design by Bryn Merrell.

© & ℗ 2020 Donivan Berube
www.donivanberube.com

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